The Obstacles Of Your Past
by IShouldBeWriting
Summary: Becker and Jess may be getting closer, but there is still a lot that they don't know about each other.  This is the next story in my "Breakable" Becker/Jess series. Follows after "A Tripwire of Smell" Thanks to my wonderful beta  xbellaitaliax


"Oof," Jess' breath gushed out of her as she landed awkwardly on her side on the gym mat.

"Not bad that time," Becker encouraged, as he offered her a hand up.

"Again," she huffed firmly, as she backed away from him and squared her stance.

Becker simply nodded his agreement before shifting onto the balls of his feet as he turned toward her with lethal grace. Jess had a moment to admire the fluid beauty of Becker's body in motion before he moved in to attack yet again. As he slid sideways into her personal space, Jess realised with panic that he wasn't following the same pattern as before. Instinct took over and she quickly moved backward to widen the gap between them. Pivoting toward him, Jess stepped in again and brought her elbow down on his exposed flank as she hooked her foot through his. Startled, Becker landed face first on the mats in an untidy jumble.

"Nicely done," he opined as he looked up at her from the floor. "That's definitely not one that you learned from me."

"Aikido was compulsory in the schools in Japan."

"And why didn't you think to share that with me sooner?" Becker barked, as he regained his feet.

"I was horrid at it. I didn't even think I'd remembered any of it until you surprised me just now," Jess replied in a small voice as she stood beneath his scrutiny.

Becker instantly regretted his harsh response. As happened all too frequently when he was training Jess, he'd slipped back into his roll as drill instructor. He'd finally caught the trick in his own head where it was easier if he ignored his attraction to her when they were training in favour of treating her like any other recruit. But then he'd trip up and receive a sharp reminder, like now, that he cared about not hurting Jess.

"Here now," Becker said softly as he pulled her into his arms, "I didn't mean it that way."

Jess curled closer within the security of his embrace, taking a moment to wordlessly accept the reassurance he'd offered.

"Why don't we call it a day, eh?" he asked, as his hand smoothed down her hair.

Jess nodded against his chest but made no move to break away from his warmth. Becker settled his arms around her again and relaxed, marvelling at how far they'd come from the halting admission of mutual attraction a few months ago. A week after their dinner at her flat Becker realised that he hadn't had any more nightmares. He started paying closer attention to how he and Jess interacted and began to see a new pattern in her behaviour. The first time she'd simply taken a precious moment to squeeze his hand murmuring "please, be careful" as he grabbed his black box on the way out to an anomaly site. The second time, she'd lightly kissed his cheek and smiled, "thank you" as she hurried off to change after another firearms lesson. The third time, she'd been giving him a lingering kiss when he dropped her back at her flat after taking her out to dinner. The moment he'd tensed up Jess broke off, smiling warmly at him as she keyed the door open and walked up the stairs.

Jess remained endlessly patient with him as he sorted through the baggage of his past. Skirting around the edges, she'd silently figured out many of the things that were unsettling for him and was careful to avoid them. If she knew a particular gesture or form of touch bothered him, she would avoid it unless he initiated. Arms wrapped loosely across her back, he knew with tender certainty that she would continue to wait until either he came to her of his own free will or told her with regret that he could not give his heart completely. The simple fact that she was waiting made Becker certain that one day he would be able to reciprocate without reservations.

"So tell me more about going to school in Japan," he asked quietly, knowing that they'd both need to get cleaned up for the weekly staff meeting soon.

Jess smiled up at him gratefully as she recognised that he was giving her an opportunity to collect herself, to get back on even footing before they had to face the rest of the world again.

"When we arrived, mum put me into the International School with the rest of the foreign military and diplomatic children. It was just after cherry blossom season and schools had only been in session for a few weeks. I spent my first term there doing nothing but studying. Didn't even celebrate my birthday properly what with mum still finding her footing at the office and our entire life in boxes. I didn't know anyone else and I was desperately homesick."

"Sounds rough. Quite a bit like the boarding school I was sent to," Becker sympathised.

"Yeah," Jess replied, "but as soon as I understood enough Japanese, they transferred me to Musashi Junior High School. The teachers at the International School decided I would do better there."

"And did you?" he inquired.

"Much! I met Yuriko and found out that her father worked in the consulate with my mum. I don't know why, but it was so much easier for me to make friends among the local Japanese children rather than the foreigners. After meeting Yuriko, I ended up with an entire circle of mates by the end of second term. By the time we got to summer holiday again, my mum even let me go for a three-day trip to the mountains with Yuriko's family. While that first year was very hard on me, in the end I know that moving there was the best thing for both of us. I didn't see it until I moved back to England five years later for university, but living abroad let my mum finally move on with her life too."

"Has she remarried? Your mum, I mean," he questioned, giving her a gentle squeeze before finally putting some distance between them.

"No," Jess responded as she picked up a towel and her trainers from the edge of the gym mat. "I don't think she'll ever stop missing my dad, but at least moving gave her a chance to stop seeing his ghost round every corner."

Becker gave a nod of understanding as he too gathered his things together.

"We should really get ready for the staff meeting. See you in half an hour?" he asked with a smile.

Jess nodded back before allowing the door to the women's locker room to close behind her.

Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~

"Right then," Lester said, "that's all for the R&D developments. Thank you, Connor."

Connor unplugged his laptop from the projector and slid bonelessly back into his chair. Sitting at the conference table, Becker gritted his teeth and stilled his bouncing knee through sheer force of will. Beside him, Abby looked down at the table to hide a smile. Nobody liked the weekly staff meetings but obviously Becker was feeling particularly irritable about this one.

"We'll be shifting the anomaly team assignments slightly next week. Ms. Parker will be taking the week off to go overseas and Connor will be temporary field co(-)ordinator in her absence." Becker sat up and shot Jess a surprised look. She mouthed 'sorry' at him with a look that promised an explanation as soon as the meeting was through. Lester's clipped accent called Becker's attention back as he closed the meeting saying, "I'd like you all to take a look at the proposed duty roster and get back to me by end of day if you have any concerns."

Becker gathered his papers together quickly and filed out with the rest of the staff, intent on finding out why Jess hadn't told him earlier that she'd be going away. Still very much aware of Lester's watchful gaze, he walked purposefully to the ADD. He opened the folder and placed it on the desk beside Jess to maintain the pretext that their conversation was work related.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, ashamed of himself when he was unable to keep the note of hurt out of his voice.

Jess looked up at him awkwardly.

"I'm so very sorry! It's all rather last minute but I really couldn't say no. Mum rung while I was turning in a report to Burton before the staff meeting. She offered to fly me over for a visit as a birthday gift. Burton heard that it was my birthday and insisted that I accept. He said that I've been working too hard and with Connor back now I should be allowed to take some vacation time. Can't say no given he's the one who hired me."

"Wait, you work for Burton?" Becker looked pole-axed by the revelation.

"Technically," Jess offered, biting her lower lip. "I was on a placement year with Prospero Industries when he transferred me to working for Lester at the ARC."

"If you're only doing a placement year, why on earth did he pick you?" Becker mused, half to himself.

"I know he was looking for someone with both computer and logistics skills, but other than that, I haven't the faintest clue why he chose me."

Becker scrutinised Jess for a moment before giving a tight nod.

"Shift change is due. I should be going," he said and Jess could see with dismay that he'd retreated back to the safe confines of his persona as a coldly professional soldier.

Fighting the threat of tears, Jess nodded mutely in reply as she turned dutifully back to the coruscating patterns and lights of the screens in front of her.

Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~

The folded paper hung limply from Becker's hand.

Father Kellan Ferrick, retired

The Seminary of the Diocese of Westminster at Allen Hall

28 Beauford St, London

Hilary,

Perhaps you'll be able to find peace and the answers you need by paying him a visit?

- Jess

Abby had handed Becker the envelope when she'd returned from running Jess to the airport. The tension from their exchange about Burton had lingered between he and Jess for the previous few days, preventing him from offering to take her to the airport himself. Now, wrapped up in his work and terrified of the letter's contents, he hadn't made time to open it until the end of the day. He felt like a complete and utter twat and wouldn't even be able to tell Jess so until she returned from Japan. Becker was in awe yet again that he'd managed to find such a remarkable woman.

Well, for the moment, planning a lovely surprise for Jess' return would have to suffice. Becker pulled out his mobile phone and hit one of the auto-dial buttons.

"Yeah, Matt? I need you to help me track down a Yuzu tree."

Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~ Bj~~

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." - Ralph Blum


End file.
